Life's not a game anymore
by R2310
Summary: Follows the storyline of Gossip Girl mostly. Jenny leaves for three years after sleeping with Chuck, without saying goodbye to anyone. No one knows where she is for that entire time. Chuck and Blair are expecting a baby, Dan and Serena are engaged, Rufus is still heartbroken and Nate has lost himself. When Jenny comes back everything changes once again. (BC/DS/RL/NJ)
1. Chapter 1

Jenny knew that running away wasn't going to solve your problems. It's something she knew better than anyone else. And still, every time she messed up, she ran away.

It all started so innocent that nobody worried. Except for her dad. But no one knew about the way she mentally struggled with herself every day. She wasn't happy with her life and where it was leading her. It didn't seem anyone understood her. Not even her father, who she knew loved her more than anyone else did or ever will.

Damien and drugs were less innocent but Jenny truly wanted to do it right this time. She wanted to work again, with Eleanor Waldorf and she was doing great... for a while. But it got boring, again. She realized she wasn't the girl for a small town life. Brooklyn wasn't enough. And even though she loved her father, she didn't wanted to end up like him. She fought years for the title Queen J, but not that long after she got it, she already became bored. She needed more.

Losing your virginity to Chuck Bass really was more. More tension in her life, but the wrong kind. If you don't understand that pissing Blair Waldorf off is the one thing you should not do, then don't ever come to the Upper East Side.

So she had to run away. Again. She didn't even say goodbye. Not to Eric, who really wanted to help her and was an amazing friend. Not to Dan, who she knew would do everything for her. Not to her daddy, even though she knew he was the only one who could never seriously hate her.

What she had to deal with outside New York, was not what she expected. She didn't have money and she didn't have anywhere to go. Of course, she could go back. Everyone expected that. Rufus was the only one who worried about her. Being alone, with nothing but her soul in a world she clearly knew nothing about. But Lily, Eric, Dan... everyone told him she was going to be fine and will probably be back tomorrow. He hated the world probably. Rufus tried the calm himself down with the thought she was heading for her mother. But tomorrow came, and the day after that and still no one had heard from her. Not even Allison.

Finally people started to take him serious. Something must have happened to her. First it was just Dan, Lily and Eric searching through the whole town for her. Weeks later it became a whole team including private detectives. Serena and Nate helped. Even Blair showed up one day with Chuck, showing their respects and compassion. They both were a bit terrified for Rufus's reaction because they were most likely the reason for Jenny's departure.

Rufus didn't blame them. He was happy they showed up. He wished Jenny could see it. How people were looking for her, caring for her. He guessed she had the feeling no one would do. He was also a bit angry. Jenny was always so stubborn. She left without saying anything. She could be dead in the East River by now. The thought made him shiver. Even policemen warned him that if they were going to find Jenny, they didn't know in how many pieces she would be.

The only way to handle this all was shutting it out. Dan, Eric, Serena... They had to move on with their lives. He knew they weren't going to search for her until eternity. The police gave up. And so did he. Maybe it was better if he didn't knew the awful way someone killed his beloved daughter and left her dying all alone.

Actually, Jenny Humphrey was still alive but she wished many times she wasn't. She was stupid enough to fall in love with someone. They lived in a crappy apartment and she didn't even know exactly where but she felt happy. It was better than on the streets, better than a fancy bed in the Upper East Side.

He was lovely then. Everything a girl wants. It changed when they married. They moved to another home, an actual house. The abuse started. Not only by him, but he allowed total strangers to do it too.

**3 years later.**

Jenny shoved her black cap more over her long, wavy blond hair. She thought about cutting and dyeing her hair but she just couldn't. Her hair was the only thing that remembered her about 'the old her'.

It hurts. Walking on those old New York streets. This wasn't meant to be. She should've stayed. She should have fixed her mistakes here. She rolled the buggy pavement on and off. In it was the only mistake she didn't regret. The reason why she was here. Her baby. Or at least, a young toddler. He was two and a half. She needed to go to a safe place for him. New York wasn't the safest place she could go but it was the only place. The people she knew were going to turn their backs to her but not to him. They couldn't blame a toddler for what she has done. But her husband knew that hurting Avan was the only way he could hurt Jenny. Bringing her son to the other people she cared about was risky but it was the only thing she could do and it was worth it.

Luckily, she never told much about her family or her past to her husband. They were safe. For now.

Jenny didn't know how she was going to handle things. "Hye dad. Long time no see! Well, I'm a bit busy but would you like to take care of my son for a while? It could be a day, a year or forever. His name is Avan. Bye." That wasn't going to work.

There were three things she needed to do. The first one was changing Avan's last name. It was going to cause some trouble in his life otherwise. The second thing was the hardest thing. She had to leave him. Somewhere safe. And then, once again. She had to run away. As far as she could get. Away from Avan. The entire life he's gonna hear stories about his weak mother and he's gonna hate Jenny so, so much but he'll be happy someday. He'll have a normal life. That was the only thing keeping Jenny together right now.

Jenny tried to calm down her nerves. She was standing on the pavement across the street with Avan held in her arms. She looked at the window of her old room. There was no light. She remembered the times she looked out at the city, wanting to explore the world. She had seen enough of the gruesome world by now. The lights in the other rooms were on. She knew they were at home. It even seems like they were having a party.

Even though her hair was still the same, her style had improved the time she was away. She was wearing a soft pink lip balm and less eyeliner than before even though it still was there. Never lose yourself, she said to herself but she knew that she had lost herself a long time ago. She was wearing a white pair of trousers and a grey woolen sweater.

Her heart pounded in her chest. She could hear it. She stood there fifteen minutes, wanting to go back. Avan was beginning to weigh a lot.

Finally, she got the courage to walk towards the building. Everything reminded her of something. The doorman, Vanya, was busy working. He didn't even recognize Jenny.

She began shaking in front of the elevator. She couldn't. It's not fair to them. She has to go.

"Aww, what a sweet baby!" A polite voice disturbed her thoughts. She looked up, which caused the brown haired women a heart attack. They both just stood there not knowing what to say.

"Blair." Jenny said eventually. She didn't expect she would be the first person to run into. "What are you doing here?" Jenny asked shocked.

"Me? What am I doing here? You're the one who disappeared!" Blair looked as if she saw a ghost, and maybe that wasn't even so far from the truth. Jenny did look very tired.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was still banned." Jenny said it, even though the situation, jokingly. Blair lost all her words. She looked mad and Jenny didn't find it hard to understand that. Instead of slapping Jenny in the face, like she deserved, she hugged her. She shouted out Jenny's name.

"Oh Jenny! We all thought you were dead. I'm sorry but I didn't thought you would actually disappear. I have felt guilty over the past three years but you're here." The seriousness of the situation began to take in. "You're here." She said quiet, almost whispering.

"Alive and kicking." Jenny said carefully. She didn't want to upset Blair, but she obviously already was. She even had tears in her eyes because of the emotion.

They were both speechless.

It was then, Blair looked at the toddler Jenny was holding. It was the same time Jenny saw the bump underneath Blair's shirt.

Blair's heart warmed up, seeing the little boy. "Who's this?" She said in a baby voice, while caressing Avan's cheeks.

Jenny brought Blair of her cloud. "It's my son." Blair looked amazed at Jenny. She saw the old Blair come back.

"You.. you have a son?" She sounded annoyed and she was. Little J was definetly not Little anymore.

"You leave and start a nice little family, letting us search for you. Do you know how hurt we all were?" She said angrily.

"It's not like that." But it was like that. It started like that. She was so stupidly in love that she married two months after she met him and three months after that she became pregnant. She wanted to come back to the UES, so everyone could meet her happy family she was so proud of but by then, the behavior of her husband changed drastic.

"Then what is it like, Jenny Humphrey?" Jenny didn't like the tone in Blair's voice. It made her feel 15 again, while she was 20.

"I.." Jenny didn't know what to say.

Blair soft kind showed up again. She knew that it must have been something terrible. Otherwise sweet little Jenny Humphrey would have showed up soon to see her daddy.

"Jenny, you can tell me now." She looked sweetly at Jenny but Jenny just wanted to burst out in tears.

Jenny was at the point of saying something, when she heard another familiar voice from behind her.

"Blair, honey, I'm finally here. Did you wait for me?" Chuck hugged his wife and stroked her belly affectionately. Blair just smiled. Chuck turned around and gave Jenny the exact same look Blair had gave her.

"Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey." He said with his heavy accent. "Is that you?" He blinked a couple of times. He was a faithful men, but he hadn't believed he would ever see Jenny return. His thoughts were too busy that he didn't notice Avan, who was sitting on the ground. He was a little confused but he didn't cared enough to make a sound.

Jenny nodded. She wasn't thinking at all anymore.

"Oh my god." Chuck said.

Jenny looked at them. They were becoming a family. They both had a golden ring around their ring fingers. She was happy to see that they solved their problems and she hadn't completely ruined their relationship. Blair was trying to comfort her husband. He was in shock.

Jenny looked to Chuck. He had grown up. He looked like a man. A man with a tie. Saying so, Blair looked very properly too. So there was a party going on in the Van der Woodsen flat.

Jenny turned to Blair. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come." She picked Avan, which distracted Chuck, from the floor. Chuck immediately understood it was Jenny's child. They had the same eyes.

Jenny wanted to turn around and - surprise surprise - run away but Blair stopped her.

"You can't go now, Jenny. That would be a mistake. Just another one on a very long list, I assume." The comment of Blair made Jenny's feelings hurt but it was completely true.

For the first time she arrived in New York, she felt like breaking down. A tear left her eye, and they multiplied. Seeing Blair and Chuck was already unbelievably scary. She couldn't handle her dad.

"Why are you here, Jenny?" Chuck asked. It would sound reasonable if she wanted to come here, just to bind her past to her future but Chuck sensed something was wrong. And his sense rarely let him down.

Jenny couldn't breathe through the tears and she felt like choking. She had to put Avan on the ground again, cause her body felt incredibly weak. She sat down on a perfectly white chair standing in the lobby. Trying to control her tears, her breath and even better herself again.

Chuck and Blair both didn't know what to do. Rub her back and say everything's gonna be okay? They don't even know what kind of mess Jenny has put herself in. And they can't assure her that if she goes upstairs, it'll be a flawless 'welcome home'-event.

Jenny managed to pick herself up again. This was confusing to Avan and she didn't want him to stress. She was embarrassed that she let her feelings take over.

"If you think I was a disaster when I still was here... I really messed up big." She said. Not that she needed to say that. Blair and Chuck could see that for their selves.

"We'll go upstairs. You've been away from your family for too long." Blair said. Chuck was proud of the maturity of his wife.

"I can't just go upstairs." Jenny said. Trying to wipe the tears falling from her eyes.

"You can't leave again either." Blair said wisely. She felt intelligent. Chuck loved that about his wife.

"We'll go with you." Chuck said supportively.

Jenny smiled. They sure changed a lot.

"I don't wanna ruin whatever party you guys are giving." She said but also asked. She looked up. A late Thanksgiving dinner?

"It's an engagement-party.. for Dan and Serena." Blair said sweetly. She even smiled. Blair smiling because her best friend is going to marry Dan Humphrey was unusual.

Jenny smiled too. "Serena and Dan are going to marry?" She asked. She liked Serena, even though she had messed up with her. She has to admit she rather sees Serena marry Dan than Nate.

"Then this is the wrong time to show up. I can't ruin their night." Jenny said. Chuck and Blair agreed in silence. It probably wasn't the best time for her to show up. But she couldn't go back now. Chuck and Blair weren't going to pretend they're late because of traffic and not because they ran into the lost daughter.

The truth is Jenny was terrified to return to the small apartment she was renting. _He_ could be there. She didn't want to put Avan in that kind of danger. Not again.

Chuck held his arm out to Jenny.

"Are you coming? We will go together." He said with a comforting smile. He putted his arm around Blair.

Jenny nodded slowly. He could see her doubting but she wasn't going to back down now. She had to do it. She picked Avan up from the ground. He always became shy with other people. Jenny thinks it's because of a trauma he has due to his father. But no one ever smiled as gently at him as Blair was doing now and it made him trust the situation.

Jenny walked towards the couple with her son. She smiled thankfully. Without them, she probably would have backed down and never pressed the elevator button. Blair and Chuck closed her in between them, what made her feel safe. They walked into the elevator together.

The time it took the elevator until the floor of Lily's apartment seemed a lot longer than she remembered. It wasn't written all over her face that she had cried. She actually looked really good, but make-up wasn't her biggest concern right now. She was going to see them again, after three years, she was going to see all of them again. Blair and Chuck reacted surprisingly great, but she had dragged her father through a worse hell and he probably would never forgive her for that. But she knew that whatever he was going to yell at her, he loved her.

"It's going to be okay." Blair said, as if she was Jenny's mother. Blair always felt protective over Jenny. Like she was her younger sister. Of course they fought a lot more than they were friends but Blair had three years to make peace with it. She probably is the one who made Jenny Queen J so she found herself responsible for Jenny's behavior.

The doors of the elevators opened up and everything hit Jenny once again. The color of the wall, the sound of laughing coming from the living room and even the smell. If Chuck didn't carefully push her out of the elevator she probably would have stand there another half hour, just taking it in.

Jenny didn't have time to think.

Chuck and Blair both let loose of her. No one could see her yet, but they all knew Chuck and Blair arrived. Though, they didn't expect another guest. Jenny just hoped Avan would be quiet for the next two minutes.

Blair and Chuck smiled at each other. They didn't want to admit but they were very nervous their selves too. They walked towards the people in the living room. Jenny followed them a couple steps behind. Avan weighed a ton by now. She was moving very slowly.

Jenny could hear Serena's voice.

"Blair! I'm so happy you're finally here!" She hugged Blair. If her eyes were open during the hug, she would have looked Jenny right in the eyes. No one else could see her yet. Chuck's body was hiding her.

"Your belly became so big. I really can't wait until my favorite niece or cousin is going to be here!" Serena said, rubbing Blair's belly.

Jenny wanted to run away, but she couldn't. She was frozen to the spot.

"Well, don't just stand there. Come! We have lovely snacks." Serena wanted to pull Blair to the kitchen, but she only moved a couple of steps.

"Um Serena.. The reason we were so late is because we…" Blair became anxious but kept strong for Jenny. "We ran into a familiar face into the lobby." She said.

Chuck moved from his spot, next to his wife so everybody had a clear view to Jenny.

All the faces went completely blank.

Jenny really didn't know what to do. All the persons in the room seem to upset Avan – finally, because he had been so quiet the entire time – and he started to make noises.

Jenny didn't dare to look into a too familiar face yet, so she just looked at the ground, smiled, looked up again and said; "Hi."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thank you everyone who takes the effort of reading this. I know I'm not a great writer, but I write because I love it. I'm also not a native English person but I feel like this is improving my English. That's why I don't mind if you correct me or say when something could be better. Tell me in all honesty what you think!

* * *

Jenny just stood there. Everyone had changed so much, yet they didn't have really changed. She could picture her coming home from work into this group. This group of friends and family who once seem to be the only people in the world. Like there was nothing more than UES.

Lily was the first one to speak. "Jenny?" She asked. Lily needed someone to punch her. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening.

"Yes, it's me." Jenny said slowly.

Silence.

Jenny was trying to keep it together but there was so much to take in that her brain stopped working. She putted Avan on the ground.

Rufus finally came out of his shell. He stood up and ran towards Jenny.

"Jenny. Jenny! Thank God." He hugged her, kissed her hair and her forehead. He couldn't let go of her. He held his daughter's head in his hands. "You're alive. Thank God you're alive." Tears came into his eyes. He always said the day he could hold his little girl back into his arms, would be the happiest day of his life and it was the truth. He was overwhelmed. He was laughing and crying at the same time. The other guests hadn't seen Rufus laughing in, well, three years.

Everyone in the room was looking at them. It was an emotional picture. A father who finally can hold his daughter again. They were trying to progress. Dorota was still standing in the same position she was standing in two minutes ago. Just on the point to pour wine into Dan's glass.

Rufus couldn't believe it has been three years. She still smelled the same. The hugging wasn't different.

Finally, Dan stood up. He was in complete shock. He couldn't believe this was happening on his engagement party. There wasn't time to think about why she was here, being angry about the fact she left or notice the kid that was crawling on the floor, a bit terrified of Rufus. This was the greatest gift Dan could get.

He joined his father and sister. "I can't believe your back." It was the only thing he could say. He had a total different reaction to his sister's come back than Rufus. It was like Dan was more sober.

Jenny had to smile. She was expecting them to yell at her and she deserved that. But they didn't. It made her realize even more what kind of a cunt she is. Leaving them. What did she think? Of course, she would've had ruff weeks but Blair would've forgave. Everyone would have. No, Jenny needed to be a drama queen, even more than she needed to be Queen J. She even defeated Blair in her dramaness.

Eventually, Rufus and Dan could let go of her. The other guests had already laid their focus on Avan.

Rufus looked Jenny right in the eyes. "Who is this?' he asked confused.

Jenny looked at Blair and Chuck, who were being very supporting. They gave her a comforting smile. Just a second ago, the mood in the house had been very good, or at least her father made it feel good to her. Except for Dan and Rufus, everyone was still where they were when she came in. Some still had no expression on their faces.

She could see Serena. She seemed to be handling the situation well. Lily was obviously relieved. Living with Rufus hadn't been easy for her the past three years. But she could sense that Jenny wasn't just here for a good old family dinner. She needed something. It didn't mean anything good. She was scared that Rufus might not survive another kick in the ass coming from his daughter.

Dorota was still standing there. She had a smile on her face. She was the only one who didn't feel the tension in the room. Eric was sitting down. Jenny was happy to see him. He looked happy. Well, not on this very moment, but he looked nice. It looked like he made something of his life. Next to him, there was a very handsome young man. Jenny had never seen him before in her life. She suspected it was Eric's boyfriend. He seemed very confused and not-knowing anything about the situation. And then Nate, she could not read his expression at all. It could be a happy, relieved face that she's back. It could be a furious, _I'd like to kill you_ look.

Jenny sighed. She was so stupid. She could punch herself in the face for turning her back on this great family. She deserved the mess she got in. She sat down on the sofa. It probably looked impolite and rude but her legs couldn't carry her anymore. She raised Avan from the ground and put him on her lap.

"This" She said, looking at her dad. ".. is your grandson, Avan."

Another bomb of silence hit the room.

"My.. My.." Rufus stuttered. "But how? Who? Where?" He stumbled. It couldn't be true. He wasn't ready to take that in. His child with a child.

Jenny could imagine he didn't really wanna know the how and where part. She knew he wanted to know the who part.

She sighed again. She looked at a shelf that was standing full of pictures of herself. It probably was a mourning place for her. They really had been thinking she had been dead. Raped and murdered by a creep. Actually, thinking of it, it's not even that far from what really happened. The only difference is that the murdering part is yet to come.

No one wanted to speak anymore and that was to understand. It was Jenny who had to come with a very good reason for her absence of three years. She just could not explain.

"I definitely own you all an explanation and apology." She said like she was in a business meeting. She was starting to piss off the people in the room. She left them all worried to death and heartbroken, and now she shows up and she looked just _fine_. Maybe a little tired, but okay. It's not like she lost a leg or an eye.

"So I am really sorry. And I can accept the fact that you'll hate me." She said, again on a very serious but emotionless tone.

"We could never hate you, Jen. You should have known that three years ago." Rufus said. Jenny hated how he was blaming it all on himself. He was supposed to yell at her. She was a bitch who didn't deserve forgiveness. Her father was ready to take the blame on himself and the rest of the people sitting at the table.

"You should hate me, dad. I _really_ messed up. Not only by leaving you, but because of all of the stupid things I have done before that and after that." She was still sitting down. She didn't know where to turn to. She just gently stroke over Avan's short brown hair. A tear role over her cheek.

"It's good now, Jenny. You're here now." Serena said. Finally someone else than Rufus dared to say something.

"It's not good. It's not good at all. I am a terrible person." The tears were floating from Jenny's eyes. "I'm a terrible mother." She said, more to herself than someone in the room.

She was trying to keep calm, but she couldn't anymore. She was terrified. Her hands started shaking and she could use a hug but no one came to her. They were looking to Avan, who didn't seem like he was a kid with a terrible mother.

The panic was too much for Jenny. "Please dad. Take him. I know I shouldn't be asking any favors right now and I am really sorry that I am ruining your engagement party, Dan.. and Serena, but you need to take him. Just for a while. I will be picking him up. Someday. It just isn't safe for him. They're coming after Avan, dad. They will kill him." Her voice cracked.

"He needs to be somewhere safe."

Her sudden breakdown and rattle of words, surprised everyone. They never had seen someone so scared, ever.

"Who is coming after him, Jenny?" Chuck asked. He had a brave face, like he wanted to slap whoever it was down, and Blair adored him for that. He didn't even know why they wanted to kill him, Jenny must have done something horrible, but he already wanted to protect.

"I can't tell you his name." She said. He wanted to scream. He wanted to grab her and shake her so she would just spit the name out. "It doesn't matter, Chuck. You can't do anything about it. But if you would let him stay here just for a while, it would be safe for him." Chuck highly doubted there wasn't anything besides that he could do. Money solves everything in his world.

Rufus didn't saw the problem. He was overjoyed by the sudden return of his daughter. He wasn't himself. He was taking over by the thought that everything will be fine now. Lily could see he wasn't fine. She walked towards him and embraced him. She looked cautionary at Jenny. She should understand she can't leave him twice.

But Jenny didn't think she had another choice. She stood up.

"I can only hope you won't blame Avan for my mistakes. He's a great kid, dad. He deserves the best. You are the only one I can trust. I just have to fix some things." She said, looking into her father's eyes.

"And how long will it take you this time? Another three years?" Rufus said coldly. It didn't seem like she had learned anything in those years. She was still the same Jenny. Running away from her problems.

"You won't fix anything by running away again, Jenny." Dan said.

Jenny really didn't wanted to go away. She wanted to stay and sleep in her old bed. But she knew her husband was tracing her. She had to be as far away from her family as she could be. It was the only way to keep them safe. He would find her and he would kill them. Like in a gruesome movie. She could already see the headlines of the papers. "_Family drama; Van der Woodsen massacred_." Her husband already had pointed a gun at her and her son, she knew that the next time he would pop it. But if she wasn't here, they wouldn't be victims.

"I'm sorry, dad." She said. She looked for a last time at Avan, left him on the sofa and gave an apologetic look at everyone. They all looked amazed. She turned around and walked towards the elevator. She could hear Rufus screaming out her name and even Avan decided to make some noise, but she knew that if she would turn around now she would probably stay.


	3. Chapter 3

No one in the room could believe what just happened. Jenny was gone. _Again. _She left her kid like it was theirs to raise. Blair and Chuck certainly did not expect her to leave again. They thought it would be a great night. The lost daughter coming back. Now they wished they had let her leave in the lobby cause it had totally ruined this 'party'. Rufus was back where he was three years ago. Hopeless. He had thought seeing Jenny back after those years and knowing that she is OK would feel great. But it didn't, cause it made him realize that she didn't regret leaving. She had been just fine without her daddy. It probably would have been less painful if they would've found Jenny dead, knowing that she had been screaming for him to come and take her home cause at least she would've needed him then. He was a horrible father, he said to himself.

Of course this was a total lie. Rufus was probably the best father of the Upper East Side. There's not a thing he wouldn't do for his children. He just doesn't know always what to do and how to handle situations. If they would just _tell_ him, they would make everything so much easier. He blamed himself for not reacting the way he should've had when Jenny was playing with the idea in her head of leaving. He had been thinking for three years of what he should have done, but he still doesn't know the answer what he did wrong. If only he would realize that he didn't do anything wrong. Whatever happened, was going to happen no matter what. Maybe it was Jenny Humphrey's faith to get lost.

As soon as the elevators closed their doors, Jenny hit the floor with a hard smack and started crying uncontrollably. It was the kind of crying that didn't took long, just long enough until she was back at the ground floor. She had nothing now. No family. She had even abandoned Avan. She could never forgive herself for that, even though she believed she did it for the right reasons.

It didn't seem that the next time she would come back, there would be another warm _welcome home _hug. Dan was furious and so was Rufus but he was still more in shock.

"I can't believe her!" Dan cried. "She just shows up, leaves her kid and walks away. What is she nowadays? A prostitute?" He had never been this mad in his life.

"Does she even know how long we have been looking for her? How hurt we were? But she doesn't even care!" He yelled hysterically. Serena walked up to him and tried to calm her fiancé down.

"She had her reasons, Dan. You saw how scared she was." She said quietly.

"Don't protect her, Serena. She's just as cold as she always was." He said, like he was throwing knives at her. He didn't want to fight with his fiancé on _this_ night because of his stupid sister.

"Sorry." He whispered to her. Serena understood his reaction. She nodded and stroked gently over his back.

Rufus had to sit down because of the emotions. Just an hour ago he was looking at her pictures, gradually taking peace that he'll never see her again. But now he was back to where he was three years ago. He just lost another daughter.

Lily was worried about her husband. The people in the room started to talking again, all at once. They shared different opinions for Jenny's departure and coming back but all of it seemed to go past Rufus. He didn't even notice. He just shut the world out, like he always did.

Nate still didn't know what to think. He had thought about Jenny a lot in the years. If she would be alive. About their short romance they had when he was still a senior and she a sophomore. He always felt protective over her. When he found out Chuck slept with her, it was like a slap in the face. He had been _so_ over Jenny. He was _so_ in love with Serena and he still was. He hated seeing Serena with Dan. But still, there was _something_ about Jenny Humphrey. Even though she had just walked in after three years, drop of her kid and explained she was in trouble – she didn't even say it with that much words – and he still thought she had something very innocent. He knew Jenny Humphrey. She must have thought this was her last option, or she would never have returned.

He stood up what and all eyes were on him right now.

"What are you going to do, Nate?" Serena asked with a warning tone.

"I'm gonna check up on Jenny." He said. He didn't even know why he would, but something in his mind told him he should.

"She's probably not even in the building anymore! Besides, she made it very obvious she doesn't want any of us in her life." Dan spitted out.

All this years he had so much respect for Jenny. He loved his little sister. He wanted her to be remembered as a great person. But it hit Dan Jenny wasn't his sweet, innocent sister anymore. She was self-conscious. She had lost all dignity. They all would've waited for her an eternity, but she was once again thinking about herself. _She_ was in trouble. _She_ needed help. Well, he didn't care anymore. Jenny Humphrey, the sister he knew, was dead to him. And he didn't want some whore to ruin his memories about her. The Jenny he had seen today, wasn't the person he loved so much this entire time.

But Nate thought the same things as Dan. Jenny was in trouble. Jenny needed help. And he cared. She always had been there for him even before she had raccoon eyes.

"I'm just gonna check." He said. Dan and Serena were looking disapproval at him. He turned his back and began walking towards the elevator.

"Wait, Nathaniel." Chuck yelled. He asked permission with his eyes to Blair. She nodded. Chuck loved some drama, even now he was quiet amused but he just wanted to go with his friend. There had to be something he could do for Jenny Humphrey. If the problem she had would be out of the way, there could be a family reunite and it would be good for all of them. Rufus wasn't going to forget this day easily. He probably needed the best therapists in the world right now.

He followed Nate to the elevator. They both were in a hurry to push the elevator button. It reminded Chuck of how he used to make that a game when he was younger_. He loved buttons. _They always did something. He liked that. When you push a button, something is gonna happen.

But the guys were not in the mood for games right now. She wasn't in the building anymore, as they expected, so they run to the street. Maybe it was stupid to think they would immediately see her blond hair. There were so many people. So many people with blond hair. The rush of courage they both had, sunk down. How where they going to find her? It was hopeless.

They were about to give up when Nate saw her. Just a glimpse. He lost her again in the crowd but he knew where to run to. Witch direction to follow. He quickly ticked Chuck's shoulder, as a sign he should follow him and ran to the spot he had seen her.

They were both running, Nate a bit faster than Chuck. They both had to push people away, sometimes didn't even take the effort to apologize. Nate could see Jenny perfectly now. She could barely keep her balance on the high heels she was wearing. _Why on earth was she wearing those? _But she moved quickly. Like a snake through the people. Chuck was following his mate blindly. He still hadn't seen Jenny and he began to wonder if Nate was hallucinating. Nate didn't dare to call her name out loud just yet. She would probably hideaway and he wouldn't find her anymore.

He was finally close enough and out of breath so he decided to call her name.

"Wait. Jenny!" It felt like the last couple of steps were the most difficult. Jenny didn't heard it or didn't react. He shouted another time.

He could see her body shiver. She turned around, confused.

"Nate?" She asked. She couldn't see anything due to the tears in her eyes.

Nate sighed. Jenny immediately knew it was him because of that. She had never heard anyone sigh the way he did.

"C'mon Jenny. There must be something we can do. I can't let you slip away again." He said. Finally, Chuck also reached them.

Chuck tried to catch his breath. He hated running. Once he felt he could speak again, he did.

"I can get you a private room in one of my hotels. If you want to, you can stay there undercover. No one will know there's a Jenny Humphrey there except for us." Chuck said. He sure knew how to convince people.

"I don't have any money." Jenny said. She already had a lot of debts because of the crappy apartment in Brooklyn.

Chuck laughed, despite of the circumstances. "Money's not a problem in my world, Jenny."

Jenny didn't get why the boys were doing nice to her. She had almost ruined both of their relationships.

Jenny didn't realize Chuck and Nate were waiting for a response. She just stared at them. Her sight was so blurry.

She was thinking were she was supposed to go. Her plan was to go to Europe, maybe she could start over. But she hadn't any money to even pay for the flight ticket. She had to leave her apartment. She rather have Chuck spending his money on her getting out of their lives but it didn't seem like he was going to do that.

Chuck pulled Jenny to a calmer spot on the sidewalk, next to some green dustbins, so he was sure no one could hear their conversation.

"C'mon Jenny. Whoever it is, you know I have the power to put him behind bars for the rest of his life." Chuck looked into her eyes.

Eventually, after thinking of every other option she had, she nodded. She shouldn't go. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay.

Nate gasped. He was relieved. Chuck just smiled. He knew he was a convincing man. Secretly, he was proud of himself.

"Okay now, we'll get your stuff and we'll go to your new home." He said.

Jenny shook her head. _What now_, Chuck thought.

"_I_ will get my stuff. You two, or anyone else, won't step any foot close to that apartment. You understand me?" She dared to look them both in the eyes. She sounded very serious and the guys understood they had to agree with that. She gave them a thankful smile. Nate realized it was a long time he had seen that.

"I'll get you a new passport in that time." Chuck said.

"No one can now, Chuck. Not even my dad or Dan." She said.

Chuck sighed again. "Are you kidding me, Jenny? I can't keep _that_ a secret." He didn't want to lie to anyone. Not anymore.

"But.." She wanted to say but Nate supported his friend.

"No buts, Jenny. If you leave a second time out of his life, I don't think he will let you in a third time." Nate said.

_I already left a second time_, Jenny thought, _just now_. But she also thought of Avan. If she didn't tell her dad then she wasn't going to see him anymore and Avan was the most important to her.

She agreed.

While Jenny went to get her stuff, Chuck and Nate went back to the Van der Woodsen flat.

* * *

**AN**: So, another chapter! I really enjoy writing this!

Don't be afraid to write reviews! I would like to improve my writing style.

xoxo R


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